Gratitude

 Most of the time, I’m so busy in a fight that I don’t realize how grateful I am that people put their trust in me. I am grateful that so many people are inspired by my journeys. I’m grateful that people look to me for direction and truth. Every day I wake up in the morning, and I feel the necessity of what I’m trying to accomplish. I feel like I need to do more everyday to earn the respect that has been given to me. And for that, I am even more grateful. People who have been watching me, some for years, and believing what I’m doing and that gives me purpose. Even on the days when it’s really hard to feel grateful and believe me, those days are far more frequent than I would like, I still feel grateful. All of the wonderful people that I’ve met over these past few years, live with me in my mind. All of the wonderful and even the terrible things that I’ve seen over the past few years live in my heart. I’ve been thinking so much about gratitude and being grateful. I’m sure I don’t express it enough. The donations, the gifts, the hospitality and all the love have been so overwhelming for me at times, I just cry. So much of my life was misspent. Believe it or not, I’m actually grateful for that too. It allows me to have insight and wisdom that I wouldn’t otherwise have. It also means that I can share my knowledge and experience with others to keep them from making the mistakes that I made. As a society we don’t appreciate our failures nearly enough. I can share what I’ve seen and learned to give context to complicated situations. So nuance and perspectives can be better understood. So many times, I’ve heard people say, “I didn’t think about it like that!” 

Sometimes, I get so angry and depressed at the sacrifices and the hardships. But then I reach someone and I just feel grateful for whatever experience that gained me the wisdom. I’m overwhelmed, so thank you.